| Why.mp3 |
had not been posting for quite a long time maybe too tired..had the meet the parent session on thursday but luckily my parents did not need to come..went to buy some things for the hike in the night .quickly went home right after i get the things to rest.went to sleep because i was sure that i needed alot of energy for the hike in the night..then arrived in school then we were getting ready to go for the hike..heard that we will be walking past the cemetries..we took turns to lead the group to the checkpoints..while we were walking about quite long,some of them were about to throw in the towel but words of encouragement from the others kept them to move on and persevered.we were walking in ulu places..its about 12 in the morning but some people were still up.while we were walking,we saw a group of teenagers were like having a bicycle 'race' on the road.then while we were walking near the roads,dogs were barking loudly and even followed us from behind..we were really irritated by the barking of dogs and even alyssa said that "Why don't they just sleep.they got the chance to sleep then don't want".haha..we heard noises when we past the cemetries and we asked each other whether they heard too because its better if someone heard that too then only you heard the noises..we saw frogs,dead rats and lots more..i kept sneezing now and had a bad headache..till here then..gotta rest..
today was quite a boring day for me..stayed at home for the whole day because i cannot went out ..my parents don't allowed me to.. i don't know how to accept the reality sometimes..why is it so hard to live in this world?i know in this world there's ups and downs in our life..but why is it keep happening .can just give me a break..everything is bothering me..people around me.in fact,everything in my life is nothing worth at all to me except some.. can they just understand how we feel?can they put their feet on our shoes?please do understand..do they have feelings and ever concern how we feel?have they sit and ever thought why we sometimes react this way?why is it so hard ?do they ever felt guilty?i guess the saying is true..the world is changed by a small group of unreasonable people..have they ever thought about whether what they did is right?i know its their choice to act this way ,but it affects the people around them.. every chance that came by,we should grab them..but did they ever understand how hard i want them?they jus think about themselves but did they ever think of what my choices are..can i jus have a little privacy and freedom?i m tired with everything around me.. its really hard to accept those things that came by in a sudden..especially the changes day after day in our daily life..but we cannot run away from the problems..every problem will make a person to become a better one in facing life..there's a saying where every problem can be solved..but how to ?it is really hard ..sometimes i am really sick and tired in facing the problems but we cannot get away from it..
we did not go school today due to the promotion day..don't know how did it turned out..i hope i can go to the class that and take the subjects combination that i wanted..all my marks were downgrading.. went to talk to some of my group members on yesterday..i found out that my group is decreasing..all in my mind was i really did not do a good job in leading them..yeah i think alyssa is right..they did not learn anything for the past 3 months..we have always tried our best to help them and do the best for them..i hope you guys can changed..i always will try my best to do everything for all of you even if you ask me to change in some ways..its coming to the end of the year..some of you might me group leaders..they said that they had no problems at all..i hope to see changes in all of you.. everything changed in a sudden..its hard to accept sometimes..in fact everytime..but we had nothing to say..its life..we can't always change everything to what we intend to..we can but its hard..this is how life is..like what the training that we had went to taught us that we need to make a difference in life..sometimes things are so weird..why must problems kept haunting us..but maybe it will make us be stronger in facing our life..its hard to describe those things that happened in our life..it came by in a sudden...
had not been posting for quite a some time..was feeling tired and of course had not been having enough sleep as usual..last few days was a tiring day for me but can said that out of the tiredness,i got a good time and wonderful experience which i will not ever forget it..it had made a great difference in my life..last friday had the lantern nite and we went home quite late ..and we had our PVC training on saturday and sunday..so i was unable to come for my religious class..actually on the first day we felt that it was kindda boring..but it quite helps us actually..meeting strangers and talk to them ..and some people in fact most people there leave out everything from their heart ..it does make us cried of some things that really touched us alot..it had reflected about our daily life and how we managed our problems..the second day was much more fun but at the same time when it comes to serious part,we need to be serious as usual..but the most exciting one was the blind trust fall..where we need to fall on the craddle which consists of my group members and two other schools..it was actually very scary when you are supposed to fall on the craddle which some of the people u don't know..and the main thing is you need to have trust in them ..but in fact i told myself that i should not take the last queue because i had miss the activities on the first day because i took the last queue..when i was up there before the fall,i told myself that my buddy is doing her best to get the craddle ready..so i reallt trust her and i had a good fall..even i bent my legs upon falling onto the craddle maybe because i did not trust myself,the craddle was strong enough and when i was on the craddle,it was a sense of relaxation and what come to my mind was,i really need to thank every single one of them especially my buddy..we had a great time in the graduation games ..overall,the training was a very memorable thing for me..i had a good experience and it did make a big change in my life..
we must not wait for miracles to happen..maybe we need to take the courage to solve problems..but its hard sometimes..like what the i choose-PVC training said that we need to make a difference..we need to make the choice to achieve what we want..sometimes it is true that its hard to achieve what we want but this is life..not everything that we want will always come true..but no matter what we must always not be afraid and fear that we could not reach the goal that we want..we must always remember that even though its hard to get,we must not be giving up because there iis people who will always there beside you supporting your decision..life is meant to be like this..
as what i had promised,i will post after the exams..hais..is a regret to say about my marks..exams over but that will not be an end for me because of the results that will be haunting me..
as what had expected today, we will be getting our results..was a regret to see my marks that i had obtained..i had downgraded..please..i want to go to 3e1 next year..we had our papers and we gotten our marks for 3 papers..so still have 5 more to go..i hope i can get better for the other subjects because i had not done well for the 3 papers so far..its not up to the standard.oh what had happened to me..?even mrs chan said that she was shocked when she marked my papers and she even asked what had happen to me..
i don't know what happened ..its no point to regret now because we can't possibly turned back the time where we took our exams again..just had to pray hard so that my other subjects could bring me up..
i really don't intend to say about what happened today because i guessed that it was not a good day for me..everything had changed in my life..everything surrounding me..just had to be prepared because this is not the worst part yet because it will be more stressing when we are in sec 3 and of course in sec 4..its funny to believe that we will be in sec 3 next year..everything pass so fast like lightning..its like i still remembered the sec 1 orientation ,sec 1 camp..i guess it was like so fast that now it is going to the end of the year of sec2 life..i realy miss those moments ..like what i said..sometimes i felt that i want time to be turned back ..but i know its a no no..its impossible for us to bring back all the happy moments back..
i don't know why i am saying all this..maybe its because i started to realise that it had made a great impact in my life and changed my life totally..like what alyssa,weisin and me had said..everytime one problem will one by one come..and there is a saying where every problem that came can be settled..but we were saying how could that be done..its hard to solve every problem that we were going through..before one problem is solved ,other problems will tackled you..its hard to live in this world sometimes..but u don't have the choice ..like what weisin and alyssa said...we did not cherish the moments last time..i guess they are right..why we don't realise it from last time..
okler..till here then..i m off for now..
was a very long time since i did not post..was stressing and chasing after time to finish revising..all the major papers are over..left with two papers and there i'm free from stressing myself to sleep late to revise..have panda eyes because i had not been having enough sleep..had to stay up night to revise..but i always tell myself that i had to work hard no matter what ..like wat our principal said..its only 7 days ..just do your best..
i am afraid to get the results..but just had to pray hard..hope to get to 3e1 next year..
went to change my blogskin and alyssa found it for me..haha..thanks alyssa(=..
okla..after the exams i will post again..i need to revise my dnt now..
everything had changed..hope some things can be turned back..but not all..just the happy moments..some things will just make you felt crestfallen and thats what nobody wish to have them back..everything had changed..its conspicuous that they changed in any way..sometimes its hard to accept the way it reacts ,but maybe just had to let it be..its hard to believe that everything changed very fast..